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What's Really Important

Life Update: Where have I been??

I first want to apologize for not blogging in months! I left my full-time job in July 2022 and in which I was using their computer system to blog regularly. I left because my job brought me absolutely no fulfillment. No joy. I began to hate going to work. After leaving my job, for months I just worked my part time job as a server. I never worked at the restaurant full-time, so I had no idea what I was getting into. I began to wake when I wanted and work whenever I wanted. I loved the flexibility that that restaurant provided.

I began to notice that I was moving around day to day with no real purpose in my life. I would work a couple days a week at the restaurant, make good enough move to live... but that was it. So, with me solely defending on the restaurant as my source of income, of course I began to pick up more hours and work more often. The service industry is a hard industry. A toxic industry. A sink or swim type of industry, but I LOVED the flexibility. I was beginning to spend too much time at the restaurant and swelling in the toxicity even more. I became hateful. I was eating poorly, not going to the gym, and I just lost track of my purpose in life.

My Revelation

We were extremely short staff at the restaurant. I was being stretch far past than I could handle. It was certain days that I came to work already mentally blanked out simply because I knew I would have a bad day. But I needed the money. It was the only money I had coming in. I knew I was not happy. I knew I would not make it at the restaurant if I did not get my mentally health under control. It got so bad that I cried in front of one of the tables that I was serving. I knew right then that enough was enough. I was mentally deteriorating at my job. I was dealing with not only has no structure in my life, but also the horrible and negative environment at the restaurant. It was becoming a person that I did not want to be.

A Restoration in my life was needed

I knew I was missing something. I was missing the structure of a full-time job. When I'm working 2 jobs, my schedule is jam packed. I am always I'm supposed to be with my room in my life for foolishness. Honestly, that's how I like it. I like being busy and living on a schedule. Yes, the restaurant provided flexibility and more free time, but I did not do anything positive or productive with that free time. I get more accomplished when I am busy. It may sound weird, but it is true for me.

With me finally realizing why I was feeling so empty inside, I began to seek full-time employment again. I knew where I wanted to work, and I knew what I wanted to do. I applied to one specific hospital and interviewed certain time with one specific hospital. I told myself that I was not going to go back to work unless I was doing something I truly want to do and with the company that I truly wanted to do it with. I applied lots and interviewed lots with this one company. I was denied lots as well.

Never give up on something you truly want!!!

After months of getting denied for positions at the hospital, I got a surprising phone call!! A recruiter from the health organization called me and offered me a position!! I have ideal pay, ideal work hours, and ideal work duties. I started my new job 11-3-2022 and I could not be happier. I missed employer paid benefits and retirement benefits. As a restaurant server... we don't receive any benefits. My hopes are to advance and move up into the bariatric obese medicine department. For now, I will learn and much about the organization as I can and just enjoy being back to work. I am a person who needs to stay busy. Who needs to be structed. Who needs to stay organized. I work well and operate best in controlled setting.

Lastly, Thank you all

Thank you all for being patient with me. I appreciate your support man than I could ever describe. I needed to take a few months off to gather myself. I needed to figure out what was missing from my life and what I needed to restore it. I needed a hard stern looking the mirror. I am facing some things that I was previously running from, and I feel so much better now. I love you all. Thank you

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  I have a personal connection with mental illness awareness and suicide prevention. I know just how important it is to take care of your mental health. I have been in therapy since the age of 10. I've spent the majority of my life trying to maintain a sane mindset. Somedays are good and other days are not so good. But most importantly, I refuse to give up. I won't give up on me 

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